Sunday, March 22, 2015

Long Overdue Not So Ironic Plethora of Thoughts



-        Burger King consistently gives me 1 ketchup packet for my entire thing of fries, while Taco Johns consistently gives me 5 salsas for my 1 burrito.  Gotta love it.

-        One of my friends recently switched from an iPhone to a non-Apple device.  My iPhone kept trying to send the blue iPhone-to-iPhone texts for weeks, before finally letting go and switching to green.  It was like a long-term relationship that it just couldn’t let go of.  It was kinda sweet.

-        So when are airports going to have dudes for hire to sit by my luggage so I don’t have to lug it all the way into the bathroom while I go pee?

-        Gotta love when there’s a cop who has pulled someone over on the side of the road, where they leave their police car purposely just a couple feet stuck out into the far right lane just to be an ass.

-       -I always stop the microwave with 1 second to go, just so I don’t have to hear it beep 48 times letting me know how proud it is of finishing.

-       Directv started sending me its “complimentary” newsletter.  Yeah, that’s right, it better be “complimentary” when I’m paying those smug bastards $95 per month. Oh and btw, that's enough Rob Lowe commercials already, Jesus. 

-      I have broken exactly 100% of the chip clips that I have ever used.

-       Until very recently, I thought all Family Feud episodes were reruns from the ‘90s.  Apparently the ones with that Steve Harvey dude are new, so either they use a low quality camera when filming or the people that they select to be on the show are just plain weird, but seriously, watch it and tell me that it doesn’t make you think you’re straight back a couple decades ago.

-        Wheel of Fortune has a very loud and noticeable sound effect for the Bankrupt spot on the wheel, but yet Lose A Turn has an awkward silence with no sound effect.  Damnit Pat + Vanna, I want some answers. 

-        Way back in 1930/1931, the Empire State Building took just 11 months to build from start to finish, yet it takes like 2 years to fix a couple mile stretch of an interstate.  Go figure that one out.


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