An Overdue Dosage of Not So Ironic Randomness

- You know, whether you're rich, poor or anything in between, it always sucks when you get ketchup on your pants.

- Bought something from Walgreens the other day and the clerk at the cash register was super friendly, that is until I rejected the offer of taking my receipt, which for one reason or another got me the evil eye. Good thing I paid in cash.

- One of these days I want to back out of a carwash just to see what happens.

- I know one of these times that I arrive at the gym that I will have forgotten to put on shorts underneath my sweatpants, which of course I wouldn't find out until I had already pulled down my sweatpants quickly to begin working out (not inside the locker room but the small lockers out in the open).  That's never happened before, no, never.

- Why exactly is weather.com starting to give me non-weather related stories?  The other day there was this story on there about some man and a whale and then some totally other unrelated world landmark story.  You already badly suck at predicting the weather, I suggest focusing on getting one thing right first before you branch off into other topics that nobody cares about.

- Even though nothing about the ice storm that crushed our city of Sioux Falls this April was funny, I find myself continually laughing at this photo of this truck picking up our limbs and scraps from our tree damage.  Trying to think of other usages for a big dump-type like truck with a huge mechanical arm and claws sticking out of it.  Then again, it would be kind of a cool ride...

A Fresh Batch of Not So Ironic Hilarity

-        You know, it’d be a lot easier to sleep on airplanes if they were always pointed up.

-        Never trust a toaster

-        If I’m currently friends with you and you don’t simply reserve your Redbox movies ahead of time online and instead opt to waste everyone’s time by browsing aimlessly there at the kiosk where those of us prudent ones await upon your indecisiveness, consider me an angry acquaintance of yours at best from here forward.

-        I don’t care what the laws of physics say, nearly two 2 liters of pop (3.785 liters to be precise) just plain can’t fit into a one gallon jug. 

-        I swear my printer takes its sweet time on purpose just to be a smarmy jerk the time after I turn it off “inappropriately.”

-        Always find it funny how other than those TI-85 clunky graphing calculators that we used in school, nearly no calculator out there has an off key.  Guarantee that hey-I’ll-just-wait-here-for-about-three-minutes-before-I-turn-off—yep-don’t-worry-about-me—I’m-good zero gets lonely sometimes.

-        We all certainly enjoy “the Big O” if you know what I mean, but I find it more than a little odd that about every other ad I hear on Pandora is for Adam + Eve’s sex kits.  Perhaps Mumford + Son’s is more deviant than I think…   #desperatemarketingefforts

-        Anyone else getting overly annoyed at the constant BREAKING NOW top red bar on Weather.com?  Sorry folks, I just don’t think that Winter Storm Gandolf in Idaho is worthy of breaking news screaming constantly in my face while I simply try and check the temperature outside.

-        Wanna sound more sophisticated in your texts or on social media?  Use “haha” instead of “LOL,” it’ll instantly upgrade your IQ and social status.

-        As if it isn’t painful enough that most damn hotel room tv’s always default back to some random, fuzzy hotel info channel after turning them off, why does the volume have to mysteriously creep up 3 fold after turning it back on as well?

-        When I was younger, my Dad one time ordered 30 or so cheeseburgers for our baseball team from McDonald’s.  He went in to the restaurant to order by himself, and after the order was placed, the employee asked if “that’d be for here or to go.”  Funny how stuck-in-a-routine our brains get sometimes before we speak. #thenagainitwasaMcDonaldsemployee #someginormoustruckerdudehasprobablyeatenthatmanyhimselfbeforeanyway

For some further random hilarity and bold analysis for the golfing type, be sure to visit my 4 Deep Golf blog.