- I think the security team plus all grocery store employees secretly laugh every time that you are driving up and down lane after lane in the lot frantically looking for a space to park…and then you come up on what you think is a space because there’s no backend to a car there…wait I think I found one……ugh, it’s just the cart corral. Smug bastards.
- Isn’t it funny how eating candy from a box at a movie theatre seems normal, yet if you were eating boxed candy anywhere else you’d be eligible to park in handicap spaces?
- I don't think I could draw a quality ampersand even while staring directly at the keyboard.
- For some horrendously bad reason I used to wear socks with sandals in high school and college. It literally has ruined every summer picture from my high school and college lifetime. I'm contemplating photo-shopping the socks out of every single freaking photo. They should create an app for that: used-to-wear-socks-with-sandals-ruined-every-picture-of-my-childhood-bailout-photo-recovery-app
- One of the most stressful moments in a human’s lifetime is when you’re up at the checkout counter at the grocery store and you last second realize that you forgot one important thing. So, you quick run back through the store to grab the item, but on the way there you bump into someone that you haven’t seen in a while. It's truly one of the most annoying and awkward moments in the life of a human being as you try and catch up with them politely but also tell them to get the hell out of your face as you scream your way back to the checkout aisle before some random shelve-stocker kid begins returning your items that you worked overly hard to gather for purchase. Phew, that wore me out just typing all of that.
- Isn’t it funny how it’s so easy to tell when a person from the U.S. is nervous while speaking simply by the quivering of their voice and the tones of their words? On the other hand, when someone with a foreign accent is speaking, you have no clue if they’re nervous or not. You can always just attribute anything to the accent. It’s like this free shield that they get just for being foreign.
- The other day I was filling a fountain pop at a machine with “no free refills” while standing next to a cop. I definitely thought twice about taking a quick free sip and then refilling back to the top before I purchased.
- Isn't it funny how after sitting for hours and hours on a plane or in a car ride that after you get where you're going the only that you want to do is sit down when you get there?
