- You know that moment when you're listening to a podcast on your phone and someone calls you, interrupting your podcast and then once you're done with the call your phone just spins and takes forever to resume playing the podcast? Yep, I hate that moment.
- There’s always such hope when opening a new bottle of syrup that it won’t drip down the sides and become all sorts of a sticky mess, only to inevitably end up goobering itself all the way down top to bottom no matter how much effort is put forth into keeping it clean.
- Kids toys have two volume settings: Loud and LOUDER
- Great Clips has gotten incredibly good about guilting humans who don't check in online first: Scenario#1- Human walks in, asked instantly by employee, "Welcome to Great Clips, did you check-in online?" Human replies, "Yes, my name is (insert name here)..." etc.... This human is looked upon favorably by said Great Clips employees.
Scenario #2- Human walks in, asked instantly by employee, "Welcome to Great Clips, did you check-in online?" Human replies, "No." This human is not looked upon favorably by said Great Clips employees. The following sequence of events with said humans usually involves extreme guilt and a demeaning tone and is often replied to with, "Well, we're looking at 40-50 minutes of a wait" even though no other humans are present in the store, only names on a screen. Thankfully, I'm not one of those humans/lesser beings.
- Things I hate: Freezing rain, dark chocolate and arriving to the Pizza Ranch buffet, always with such excitement, only to find myself waiting "6-8 minutes" for the pizza that I really want to eat, but filling myself with mediocre-at-best pizza in the meantime, only to be just marginally hungry when the pizza I really want comes out. #firstworldproblems
- Elf on the Shelf post-Christmas PTSD. Waking up with nightmares of did-I-forget-to-move-the-elf-oh-wait-it's-January. Yep, it's a real thing.
- For my next invention, I'd like to invent Pre-VR. This would involve being able to watch a program before it actually airs. For instance, I'm an early to bed, early to rise kinda guy, but there are just some shows and sports that are on past this old guy's bedtime. So instead, being able to watch the show or game before its normal air time would be fabulous. Yep, Pre-VR. Let's make it happen.
- Is there anything more unpleasant than the jarring and startling noise a toaster makes when it pops up? It's so abrupt and violent, especially given that it's usually used early in the morning when loud noises are all sorts of annoying. How about some soft music instead building to a climax right as my toast pops up before I slap some PB on it. I mean yep, seriously.
- Typical QDoba ordering scenario:
QDoba Employee (usually age 11 or younger)- "What can I get started for ya?"
Me- "Steak Queso Burrito" (Yep, 3 whole words to remember, describing multiple action steps on their part)
QDoba Employee asks what type of tortilla, steams the tortilla then asks, "What kind of meat?"
Me, repeating again, "Steak. White rice. Black Beans." (Me knowing the next questions they'll ask, so just saying the next couple of steps for them).
QDoba Employee adds the steak, then asks, "What kind of rice? What kind of beans?"
Me- "White rice, black beans."
QDoba Employee- "Queso?"
Me- "Yep, regular queso" (even though I referred to this in the first step of ordering)
QDoba Employee- "Salsa?"
Me- "Yep, hot salsa, cheese and sour cream" (me also just shortening the process since I know the next question they'll ask).
QDoba Employee adds the salsa, then asks, "you said lettuce too, right?"
Yep, gotta love those distracted millenials.
