Insatiable Appetite For A Plethora of Non-Irony

-I feel like the military should've been able to invent team bullets by now.

- The other day I drove thru an intersection that had a sign that said, "U-Turn permitted". I wanted to leave a note on it that said, "Thanks. Trust us, we'd just do this with no sign anyway."

- I wonder if coins get secretly really happy when you accidentally leave them in your pockets and they go thru the wash. Think they'd get mad if you told them it was just an accident?

- My two least favorite iPhone auto-corrects are "wools" and "Sid" when I'm trying to type "woops" and "sis". I'd like to know the last time anyone intentionally tried to type wools. And yep, pretty sure I don't know anyone named Sid.

- There’s a guy who now works at Subway, whom previously worked at Quizno’s, whom previously worked at another local sandwich shop before that.  He seems to be some type of sandwich shop employee whore, but at least now he can update his Facebook profile occupation to read, “artist.”

- I always find it funny when restaurants or other businesses feel like they have to explain why they're closing early on a holiday "so employees can spend the holiday with their families."  Trust us, we’ve assumed this this already.  Since it’s just assumed, always thought it'd be funny if they posted something other than the family thing, like- “We’ll be closed on Wednesday, July 4^th so that our employees can go blow some sh*t up.”

- I'm not sure if it's intended to be funny, but National American University's website being www.onedayonenight.com is just downright hilarious.

- I still think receipt could get by without needing a p. 

- I hate those perpetual goosebags who always hog the impossible to find and overly scarce plug-ins at every airport.